For those of you who don't know what I do for a living, I sell cars. I work at one of the biggest Chevy dealers in the Country and I must say 80% of the time I love my job. It gets to me sometimes for sure, but only when its slow. When it's busy, I LOVE IT!!! I talk a mile a minute, crack jokes, smile, and laugh with people all day. Sales to me is more about making a friend than selling a product, but I guess that's just my way! I've been selling cars for almost 15 years, DAMN!!!! Where does time go? I think everyone should have to sell cars or something, it teaches you sooooo much about people in general. Not only do you get to meet all these people, but you get to play all kinds of roles. Hey Mon, how many job you got Mon? I got 5 job, I sell the cars, I clean the cars, I give free therapy, I fix your credit, and I'm a friend if your lonely (in my sweet ass Jamaican voice boyyyyy!!!!) Here are a couple of stories I hope at least make you smile.
I have a Customer named Jennie. I love her, and she talks more than I do, I don't have to say shit, just...Oh, Uh Huh, Oh Really? Ok, Mmmm and she will go on and on. She comes to visit me every time she comes in and we sit and shoot the breeze (What you don't like cliches??? My Bad =D...getting side tracked). The last time I talked to her the conversation went something like this. Jeff, This is Jennie (she has one of those voices you could never mistake...no need to tell me who you are Jennie!!!). "Me and Jennie were like peas and carrots again", love Forest Gump, great movie..."Run Forest Run" (You should hear my friend Trarra say that shit, sounds just like Jennie...LOL) Ok, back on track. I want to come in and see you, my lease is almost due. Oh, I been so sick...well, I had hernia surgery and all the medication and everything, but it's gonna get better. That's what the Doctor says. I would bring Donnie (her son), but he's so busy with the band and that, I don't think he can come with me. I bought these under ware Jeff, and they are TOO TIGHT down there!!!! For real???? That's what you say to your Car Salesman??? LMAO!! I used to be little Jeff, I don't know what happened, I used to ride on the back of a motorcycle...can you believe that? So, I'll be in there with my cousin in a few weeks, Ok? Alright Jeff, I'll see you in a few weeks! I had just hung up with her when a dude I work with walked in, who has been trying to sell this organ on Craigslist which is a storey all its own. So I tell him, I got somebody that might be interested in the organ, let's call her. So, I call her back with him in my office and put her on speaker and say, "Jennie, there is a guy here (and I lose it, I am almost hysterically laughing) who has an organ and he thought Donnie might want it for the band!!! Its a rock n roll band, but HEY, who knows, might need an organ, right? Now, she is laughing and I REALLY CAN'T control my laughter. The other salesman says, "Hey it's not funny, Ok?" and Jennie and I continue to hysterically laugh. Somehow we manage to say good bye and hang up. Maybe an hour or so goes bye and I get a call from Jennie. "Jeff, This is Jennie, Donnie said that man should try to donate the organ to a church or something, but he can't use it!" As soon as she said, "Donnie said..." we both started CRACKING UP, it was all she could do to even get the rest of the sentence out. I put my head down on the desk and tears were rolling down my cheeks. We laughed without saying anything to each other for a good couple of minutes and finally I said, "What is wrong with us Jennie?" which made us laugh EVEN more. I hung up and laughed on and off for a good 20 minutes. Even writing it makes me laugh!!!
Me and my buddy, Sugar White Mike, who I have known all my life, like to have fun at work. We drive around and honk the horn just for fun!!! You gotta have fun in life. Maybe it seems immature, but you should try it! When you give a good HONK, I mean a good 5 second honk, people expect you to flip em off. Oh hell no, We give a nice healthy 5 second HOOOOOOOOOOONK and smile and waive! Now, WTF do you do to that??? So today we happened to be pulling up from the back lot in a Camaro and there were some people picking their new Camaro and Mike says, "Oh, they are getting the honk and the thumbs up!" I'm driving and he reaches over...nice healthy HOOOOOONK, and we both smile and give a thumbs up!!! People just don't know what the hell to do or how to react and WE CRACK UP!!! Maybe it's just funny to us, I don't know, but it sure make our day more enjoyable!!
After you sell a car, you are supposed to let the Finance Manager talk to the Customer to offer them extras, like warranties, insurance, and paint and fabric proof. Mike had asked the Finance Manager to sign the deal with the Customer which isn't the normal protocol. Mike likes to make people uncomfortable though, so he's always doing something crazy. So today, he tells the Finance Manager that his Customer, Mr Smith, like to be called Schmitty, LMAOOOO!!! Mr. Smith, never said that or has never been called by Mike. When he takes him into Finance, the first thing out of the Finance Manger's mouth is, "How you doing, Schmitty?" He keeps referring to him as Schmitty and Mike is outside the office trying to control his laughter!!! He calls my extension and tells me what's going on and we are progressively laughing harder and harder! We are standing in the conference room about to tell the storey to one of the girls in the office and here comes the Manager who thinks that Mike is smiling and laughing because it is taking a long time to get him signed and out of there, LOL! I wish you could have seen his face and how he was trying to hold it all in. He was grinning from ear to ear, like a little kid!!!! He finally gets done signing him up and goes up to Mike and says, "Schmitty's all set!" and Mike loses it in front of the Customer. Here is the best part though, the Customer called Mike when he got home to ask him a question and said, "Mike, it's Schmitty..."
I don't know, life is just way too short to be so serious. Make yourself laugh, make yourself smile however you gotta do it. There weren't any tags on your toes when you woke up this morning, right? so be happy, smile, and laugh...IT IS THE BEST MEDICINE!!!
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