I Might Shit Myself, but I'm Still Talkin Shit!

     Happy Friday people!!! We just got back from a road trip to North Carolina to see my Brother and his family. We rode out 12 hrs straight, 4 deep, in the Boo (that would be my way of sayin Malibu...sounds much sweeter to me). "Oh, there can't be more than one brown 79 Malibu?" That's what my boy Dee said when the bouncer wouldn't let us in the club one night!!! Now that's a whole nother story, Lol!! Anyway, we were PACKED in there, I MEAN PACKED!!! You know how it is when you are little, you gotta bring your pillow, your blanket (even though it's 85-ish the whole way), your teddy bearsssssss, your gamesssss, your dvd, your DS, and your just in case too!!! Plus my little ones are still in boosters, which is total crap by the way! When I was little, I woulda been layin down the whole way, no booster, and no seat belt either!!! Although we were usually ridin out in a van that had just a huuuur more room than the Boo! Did I mention that the kids had to ride with the cooler between them too? I burned all kinds of music to listen to and as I have told you all before, I love to just cruise. The driver isn't all cluttered up with a bunch of shit, just a big ass coffee and cds which all fit neatly in the map pocket! The poor front passenger, let's just say that's definitely NOT the best seat in the house!!!! Ditty asked me if I wanted her to drive, but I wasn't giving up my plush accommodations. We leave Friday at 6:00am and plan to get to my Brother's at about 6:00pm that evening. I must say, it is a pretty scenic ride after you get through Ohio (GO BLUE you Buckeye BITCHES!!!! LMAO)! West Virginia and Virginia are just beautiful! Coming out of Virginia into North Carolina has got to be some of the most beautiful countyside ever. As a matter of fact I saw a bunch of bumper stickers that said, "Virginia is for lovers"...unless I read it wrong and it said "Vagina", LMAOOOOO, my bad, couldn't pass that up! I mean that is for lovers too!!! Thank God for the bumpy hook ups on the shoulder, cuz I may have went off a cliff looking "down in the valley, valley sooooo low"!
     Ok, so we finally get there and pretty much on schedule too. We are gettin settled in, and my Brother fires up the grille. We are all starving, well except the kids, the excitement is just tooo much for them! They are CRAZYYYYY excited to see each other! After we eat, me and my Brother start shootin hoops with the kids and messin around with em. We get a little game going, the Kids vs Me and Chizz. We try to let em win, but if you keep missin your opportunity, we gotta beat you...little or not!!!! We let em steal the ball, some bad passes, bad shots, and even miss rebounds (I mean DAMN we got at least 2 feet on all 3 of em)! So we beat em, YESSSSSSSS!!!!! That's right, WE WIN!!! No here's a "participation ribbon", you tried and you are a winner too! How bout this, "You can't beat us, we're just toooo big, toooo strong, and toooo sweet for you!" Which leads me in to my main story.
     So I drove 12hrs straight. My back is a little tight, but I figure hey, let's play a little Horse Chizz. I mean we did already whip the kids and now they are discouraged and we are feelin good cuz we are the CHAMPS!!! We are both pretty competitive! I really don't know anyone who is gonna turn down a Horse challenge anyway. By the way, doesn't it suck when you get HO, and then everyone talks shit? So we start playin and we both have an "H", I figure I gotta step my game up, couple of crazy shots, a reverse dunk (rim adjusted to 9ft of course) and I'm feelin sweet!!! I tell my Brother, "I'm about to hit a 360 on your ass!" He tries to warn me, but I don't listen! As long as I can remember, my Brother has kept me outta trouble, looked out for me, and is probably the reason I'm still alive...Thanks Chizz, if I never thanked you, love you! I back up, couple of dribbles, and then make my move! I take to the air, the rotation is feelin pretty as hell too, and then BONKKKKKKKKK!!!!! Packed by the rim, ANDDDD blow my back out too. You lucked out Chizzle cuz you woulda been HO after that!!! The next day we are havin a BBQ and Chizzle asks his boy if he can bring me some muscle relaxers...Praise the Lord, he does! By Wednesday, I'm in tip top shape boyyyyy and we take the kids to the pool. just me, him, and the 3 kiddies. We tell them we have 1 hour because we had just got back from a 2 hour ride from the ocean. There are 3 other people at the pool, a Mom and her 2 little girls. They stay for a bit, we asked them to take a picture of all of us and then they shake. Now, we have the pool all to ourselves. We look at the clock and it's getting pretty close to the hour mark. Now, another Mom comes with her 2 little ones. I look at the clock and decide to start talkin shit about racing my brother one lap across the pool. He says, "Jeff, No, I'm not racing you!" Of course I start telling the kids he can't beat me in no realllll shit, if it's not a video game he's hit, and that's why he won't race me!!! Now he is making his way to the starting block though, he will hardly ever turn down a challenge, ESPECIALLY if you talk shit!!! He says, "How bout we just race the width of the pool?" I tell him, "Chizz, by the time we dive in, we are gonna be half way across anyway!!" He says, " Dive in?" I said, "Yeah dude, come on." So we get down to the one end and we debate for a minute on proper form of how to start. Michael Phelps style of course, well, just short of the flip-a-roo on the other side because both of us could possibly pass out from 2 laps! I tell the kids, watch for the winner and you gotta say on your mark, get set, go! This Mom there with her 2 little ones is smiling at us like we are crazy, maybe so, but we are always having fun! The kids call it out...and we're off, neither of us swim great above water so we stay under as long as possible. As I come up and turn my head to my left, we are neck and neck half way through the race. I say to myself, "GO, get them arms movin!" To be honest, I didn't know my arms could move that fast, I was like a fine oiled machine. The only problem was the finely oiled "younger machine" was next to me and I could see he was inching ahead! When I say inching ahead, I mean it! We were SOOOO close, but I could see he was gonna get me, so at the last minute...I tried to grab him with one arm and grab the wall with the other!!! I was able to give him a sweet scratch on his chest, but definitely lost. I heard his son say, "Daddy, you won! and heard both of my little ones say, "Uncle Kevin won!" So I did what any fierce competitor would, Blamed that shit on my bad back!!!! HELLLLLOOOOOOOO, that's legit!!!!! I had to take muscle relaxers, DUHHHHH!
     I think that you have to keep competing, keep doing things you would in your youth, and KEEP talking shit too!!! I'm 35 years old, but I promise I don't act it! Maybe by the time I'm in my 80's I'll act like I'm 35-40, I don't know. I might shit myself or wet the bed, but I'm still gonna talk shit and act like I'm half my age! You gotta keep acting young, the kids have it right...That's why they're always smiling!!! Your Boy JC, and I'm out!!!

4th of July Jump In The Lake With Your Clothes On

There is nothing like a nice hot sunny 4th of July day...when you get the urge to jump in the lake.  Yes, I said jump in the lake.  That's what I did today.  I went to my sister Carol's house.   She lives right on Lake St. Clair,  not too far from New Baltimore.  There is always lots of fun going on at her house during the summer months.  She and her hubby, Rick have been welcoming hosts to everyone, throughout the years.   Today was no exception.   There we were, eating, drinking, laughing and soaking up the sun....

Well it got pretty hot,  and I began to sweat.  I forgot my bathing suit.  I said to myself, "so what, if my clothes get wet...they'll dry" (why just the other day, my granddaughter said, "the sun can dry your hair, grandma")  I figure now, the sun can dry my clothes, too.   Off the chair I go! Jumped right in the lake, clothes and all.   I meet Carol there (she had her swimsuit) Karen, my niece and David, my nephew....they all had their swimsuits on, too!

Oh what a free spirit feeling (almost like being naked  ... one could swim that way also, but there were just too many people around for that.)

Meanwhile,  my sis' floaty is floating off her dock waiting for another passenger.  I swim to it.  My clothes are dragging me down a little bit.  Eventually,  I reach the floaty I encounter a little difficulty trying to climb aboard.    I call for some assistance to push my "big ol' booty" over the side and onto the officially named, Rest & Relaxation Station Floaty.   Carol pushed, Karen pulled, we all laughed so hard that the "big ol' booty" with clothes on, barely made it.  

Finally aboard the Rest & Relaxation Station Floaty, we're doing just that.  Restin' and  relaxin', floatin' and a talkin', when my nephew David says with a shiver and a chill, "Aunt Lin,  I'm freezing?"  I say, "Well,  honey, that's because you ain't got no clothes on".

So don't worry about getting your clothes wet on a nice hot day.  The sun will dry them eventually.   In the meantime, if you're cold, they just might keep you warm.

Happy 4th of July, Everyone....LKC